When we pick up our kids from school we want to hear all about it, right? The good, the bad, the ugly, but it can be such a challenge to get kids to talk about their day. Like many other parents, I ask a lot of questions, hoping to get the full download of the day. I am guilting of asking a million questions to my kids and still feeling like we just scratched the surface. I realized that although I was asking a lot of questions, the quality of my questions were poor. In an effort to encourage my kids to really open up (and to get more than a “good” or “fine” – which doesn’t tell me a whole lot), I had to learn how to ask better questions. I learned some great tips on how to create my own questions after reading this great article on Understood. So how exactly do we craft questions to get our kids to talk more?

It’s simple, just keep these things in mind:

AVOID – General & Closed-Ended	TRY – Specific & Open-Ended
How was your day?	How would you rate your day from 1-10?
Did you have fun?	Did you catch anyone doing something funny? What made you laugh today? Who made you smile? When were you the happiest?
How was lunch?	Who did you sit with at lunch? Who brought the best food in their lunch?
Did you learn anything new?	What new fact did you learn? Tell me something you learned about a friend.
Where the kids nice to you?	Can you give me an example of when someone was nice to you? Did anyone push your buttons? If an alien spaceship came and beamed someone away, who would you want them to take?
Was your schoolwork hard or easy?	What was something that challenged you? When were you bored?
How was recess?	What was the most popular game at recess? Did anything surprise you during recess?
Did you enjoy the lessons?	What was your favorite part of the (subject) lesson? What was the most boring part of the (subject) lesson?
Did your teacher read a book?	What book did you teacher read aloud? What are your favorite characters in the book?
Where you helpful today?	What job are you responsible for in the classroom? What do you think you should do less at school?
Who are your friends?	Who is the funniest person in your class? If you could sit next to the same person every day, who would it be? Who do you want to make friends with but haven’t yet?
Do you like what you are learning?	If you go to be teacher tomorrow, what would you teach? What questions did you ask today?
Did you follow the rules at school?	What is the hardest rule to follow? What is your teachers most important rule?
Are you ready for school tomorrow?	What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Did you do anything new?	Tell me one thing you did today that was different from yesterday?
Did you understand everything?	What was a strange word that you heard someone say? Did you teacher give any lessons today that were confusing?
Was everyone in class?	Who was absent from class? Did anyone have to have a quiet time/time-out?
Did anything bad happen?	What was your least favorite part of the day? Was there a time you had to be brave?
Did you try anything new?	What was something new that looked interesting?
Is there anyone you do not like?	Which person in your class is the exact opposite of you?

So there you have it. Asking better questions is truly a craft, but the conversations that result are worth the effort made to craft them. I’m not an expert, but these questions do get me some interesting conversations, sometimes hilarious answers and some insight into how my kids think and feel about school.

I hope this encourages you to get creative with your questions. Use it as a time to be present with your kids and maintain a close relationship with them as they grow and change. Try some of these new questions out and see what you learn!